A conversation between Sharon and I.

Sharon Spilmon

this song just said "god is not here today"

business trip?

1:52 PMCraig Seagraves

god is always on a business trip

1:52 PMSharon Spilmon

lol

1:52 PMCraig Seagraves

he's annoyed with us, i would want to stay away too

1:55 PMSharon Spilmon

"i'm sorry to say i'll be out of the office from 1-21-0034 through 12-21-2012.  i will try to check my messages while i am away, but there is no guarantee.  please, if it is important, either leave a message with my son, paul, or if an emergency, call my cell.  Thank you, and i will see everyone after armageddon"

i picked a random start date

1:56 PMCraig Seagraves

makes the most sense

and if he does get our messages he doesn't want to listen to most people's petty petitions for useless, pointless, loveless desires.

1:57 PMSharon Spilmon

right

2:07 PMSharon Spilmon

"you've reached the office of Yahweh and son. we are unable to take your call at this time."

2:15 PMCraig Seagraves

Sounds like a law firm

2:15 PMSharon Spilmon

lol

"inbox full. there are currently-8 billion, 2 hundred and 67 thousand, 8 hundred and 58-useless and petty requests, and-4 important requests. please empty to record more"

2:20 PMCraig Seagraves

por espanol press 1

2:20 PMSharon Spilmon

lol

2:21 PMCraig Seagraves

if you are experiencing a miracle, press 6 now

2:22 PMSharon Spilmon

awesome

2:23 PMCraig Seagraves

if you would like to speak directly to a purgatory operative, press 0 now

2:23 PMSharon Spilmon

lol

2:24 PMCraig Seagraves

your call may be monitored for quality assurance

2:24 PMSharon Spilmon

we aplogize for any inconvenience

if you would like to be transefered to our Allah branch, please press the pound key

2:25 PMCraig Seagraves

hahahaha

press star for moses

2:30 PMCraig Seagraves

if you require demonic assistance please call our Hell hotline at 1-800-666-HELL

2:30 PMSharon Spilmon

lol!

2:31 PMCraig Seagraves

and a satanic service representative will assist you

2:31 PMSharon Spilmon

indeed